


I'm avoiding you because of gay feelings not cause I hate you.

by Lime99



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Johnny is marks dad, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan is a Confident Gay, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is a Panicked Gay, Mild Angst, Oblivious Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, slightly spicy later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22947610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lime99/pseuds/Lime99
Summary: Literally the title says it all.Haechan is getting frustrated after noticing how Mark has been distancing himself more than usual from him. He starts panicking that Mark has realized his less than platonic feelings and is disgusted by his best friend. ..... let's just say that is not the case.This is my first " real " fic so some feedback would be greatly appreciated. I don't have a set uploading schedule so yeah ... I'm unorganized soz. Please feel free to help me with the plot of this as I am making it up as I go!  Enjoy
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter one

Mark was acting weird. Well, that’s not to say that Mark wasn’t always acting like a weirdo, Hyuck reasons to himself. Just last week he witnessed his Hyung creating the disgusting concoction of putting olives in his ice cream. Hyuck had almost vomited when he was stupidly persuaded to try it. The incident had just further reinforced his determination to never let Mark near the kitchen or food in general ever again. 

However, barring Mark’s unnatural taste buds, there was something else which Hyuck has suddenly become aware of. 

HIs Hyung had always been camera shy when it came to skinship. Every time Haechan clings too, hugs, or tries to kiss Mark on camera he is jokingly (yet still roughly) shoved away, pinched, or slapped off. When they were rookies Marks' disgust had deeply wounded him. Haechan was a naturally clingy person who craved affection and reassurance from others. Especially from his favourite Hyung. 

One day after filming a particularly long round of interviews for their debut album, Mark must have noticed Hyuck sulking due to the rough treatment from his Hyung. All the members had piled back into the company van and though they were exhausted from the day’s activities, Haechan can still remember the underlying energy and disbelief that came from having sat through their first-ever professional interviews. Everyone was smiling and Haechan could feel the pride and love radiating in the atmosphere.

Unfortunately, he couldn't seem to let himself enjoy it. His mind kept replaying one moment from the day over and over. He could still see Mark’s sharp glare and rough hand flinging Donghyucks hand which had been casually resting on Marks shoulder - back into his own lap. Hyuck’s smile hadn’t cracked one bit - he’s a professional- but he was sure that anyone close enough could see the shock and hurt simmering in the depths of his eyes. 

Mark had noticed too it seems because he’d pulled a reluctant Haechan into the seat beside him in the van. A rare occurrence at the time which later became their unofficial seats. When Hyuck had refused to look him in the eyes Mark had grabbed his chin and forced him to make eye contact. No words were exchanged between them but Hyuck could read the apology in his friend's piercing gaze. He knew he had gone too far today. 

Hyuck being the weak man he was, had instantly melted. Sighing and leaning into Marks side Haechan had been slightly shocked when not only did Mark not resist but also reached over and entwined their fingers for the rest of the ride home. It was at that moment he had understood how compatible he and his Hyung really were. They understood each other’s needs and boundaries without saying a single word. It made Hyucks heart flutter- something which he ultimately decided to ignore and focus on capturing the moment in his memories. That was a problem for future Haechan to analyze.

Since then Haechan and Mark had come to an understanding. Mark was not comfortable with public skinship. It flustered and embarrassed him. This of course never stopped the maknae! It just meant that he was understanding and never offended when he was inevitably pushed away. In return Mark always made sure to return a gesture of affection to Hyuck when the camera’s turned off. This usually consisted of him simply tolerating the boy’s affection. But sometimes he even occasionally retaliated by ruffling his hair, squeezing his arm or ( Haechan’s favourite) linking their pinkies together. 

No matter how rough throughout the day Mark has been with him, these little gestures never fail to reassure him and fill his little heart up. 

However, recently mark was being weird. His behaviour on screen remains the same but as soon as the camera’s stop rolling he no longer turns to smile at Hyuck anymore. He makes no move to reassure Hyuck. Actually, it almost feels like he moves to the opposite side of the room and pretends Donghyuck doesn’t exist. Whenever Hyuck tries to make conversation he’s met with dry single word responses and nervous glances. Before Mark is quickly making some excuse and bolting as far away as he can get. 

It hurts. 

Has he done something wrong? What possibly could he have done to offend Mark and make him this uncomfortable around him. What’s worse is that he notices how Mark starts to cling to other members more. Whispering in rapid-fire English with Johnny in the corner and swapping seats so he can lean on Taeyong in the front of the van. Taeil ends up filling Marks empty seat, instead of leaving it vacant. Something which Hyuck is extremely grateful for as it slightly fills up the current gaping hole in his heart knowing that his Hyung can sense he needs some support right now. 

But then he watches Mark turns and leans into Taeyongs embrace and relaxes for the first time all day. As much as he hates to admit it to himself … he’s jealous ….and angry ...but mostly hurt. Jealous because it’s always him who Mark turns to at the end of a stressful schedule, who he leans into for physical and emotional support. Comforting each other... it’s THEIR thing.

He resolves to corner Mark about it when they get back to the dorms and hopefully get some answers. Content with his newfound resolve he lays his head on Taeil’s shoulder and rubs his nose into his Hyung’s neck. His chest warms slightly when he feels his Hyung press a soft kiss into his hair in response. Oh well, at least he can get cuddles from his other things. He giggles sweetly to himself before catching Mark intensely staring at where Hyuck has flung his leg over Taeil’s lap. His forehead is creased in the way that makes Hyuck want to smooth it out with his fingers and boop his nose …. Platonicaly ( his mind offers helpfully).

Marks eyes travel up his body -briefly stopping on Taeils hand which is running soothingly up and down hyucks side- before meeting hyucks questioning gaze. His eyes widen comically and he snaps back around in his seat like he’s been caught doing something naughty. 

Haechan blinks slowly trying to process what that interaction meant. As he sits there feeling confused and watching the back of Mark’s neck slowly flush red he thinks to himself… 

Tonight, ill get some answers tonight.


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly longer yay! It's also pretty angsty haha sorry. I promise there is a happy ending.   
> I'm thinking about making Monday my regular update day ... hopefully.

2\. 

He does not, in fact, end up getting his answer’s that night. 

As as soon as their manager pulls up outside the dorm, Mark is hastily unbuckling his seatbelt and jumping out of the van. He’s the first one outside and Haehan can only stare as he powerwalks through the entrance and disappears up the stairs. When he arrives in the dorm it’s just in time to hear the sharp SLAM of a bedroom door. All he can do is sigh and glance longingly at the closed door which he can practically feel vibrating with negative energy ...all directed at him. Disappointment settles around him and his shoulders slump with the missed opportunity to alleviate some of the pressure which their strained relationship is causing him. Hell, he doesn’t even know what he did wrong! 

His staring contest with the block of wood is interrupted by Johnny who throws an apologetic shrug over his shoulder and walks past him muttering something about   
“ slamming doors like a teenager” and “ dumb brat needs a lecture… “.   
Haechan watches his tall frame open Mark’s door without knocking and slip effortlessly inside … easily invading Marks impenetrable bubble keeping Hyuck out of reach.

Initially, Hyuck was confused about Marks behaviour. He had no clue what he had done to deserve the sudden cold shoulder. He was hurt. But after seeing Mark’s drastic measures to ensure he doesn’t have to talk too or even look at him .. he’s starting to get angry. I mean maybe they could sit down like mature adults and talk about their problems? He never knew Mark could be this childish. 

He probably would have stood there god knows how long, wondering what was happening behind the closed door, if Taeil hadn’t grasped his hand and gently led him to the living room where the rest of the members were gathered. 

Jungwoo must see his disappointed expression because he calls out from where he has claimed the central couch “ Hyuckie! Come and sit with me” he pats the spot next to him invitingly and HAechan is in no mind to refuse him. 

“You’re looking a little down .. let Hyung give you cuddles.” 

Cuddles … cuddles sound exactly like what he needs right now. 

“ Hyung you’re the best, “ he says, feeling enormously grateful.  
Jungwoo just laughs at him and replies with “ I know baby” before he pulls Haechan into his lap and starts stroking and massaging his temples.

He thinks fondly of how Jungwoo is the best hyung to cuddle with, as he loves physical affection just as much as Hyuck does. He can’t ever remember a time when Jungwoo Hyung had pushed him away or been anything but accepting of his needs. Haechan outright moans when the elder starts digging into the tight knots in his neck. Masterful fingers working their magic down to his roped up shoulders. His Hyungs chuckle and coo at his reaction telling him he’s cute and he’s been working hard.

Laying there surrounded by his loving members, the maknae can feel some of the stress from his recent situation slowly slipping away. His lip’s quirk at the familiar sound of Yuta and Doyoung getting heated about what show they should be watching. _It’s nice to know some things never change_ he thinks as his eyes close and he floats finally into a deep semi-conscious state. 

The hum of the television and the consistent person petting his hair is doing a great job of lulling him to sleep when he thinks he hears Johnny’s low timbre voice murmuring something to the group. Mark and Johnny must have finally emerged Hyuck reasons.

He starts picking up distant words and phrases being thrown around in the conversation.   
“ … trying really hard …. Difficult to process…” he thinks he hears mark whispering. 

Taeyong’s voice floats over from beside Haechan on the coach in a reassuring tone.  
“ don’t worry .. fast asleep”   
The person whose his head is laying on chuckles and the vibrations rumble through Hyucks chest. One of his Hyung’s voices raises above a whisper and Haechan can hear his next words clearly.“ You can’t avoid him forever, I can already tell he knows something is wrong..” The voice is quickly cut off and shushed. 

_They must be talking about me...Wow, I guess Mark really is going out of his way to avoid me. Even the others have noticed it._ The confirmation sits heavy in his stomach. 

It seems Mark is trying to defend himself as harsh whispers quickly drown out the others. Haechan tries to subtly lean his head towards Mark in the hopes of hearing him more clearly. 

“ … shock …. Don’t want to … uncomfortable..” 

_Uncomfortable? Is he making Mark uncomfortable? He can’t think of any way in which he’s been treating Mark differently recently which could have caused that. He’s always so careful about keeping his emotions in check around Mark._

He leans a little further forward to try and decipher the closed murmurs coming from the other side of the living room. So maybe pretending to sleep and eavesdrop is generally frowned upon. But sue him .. is it that wrong if he’s the subject of the conversation? 

The god’s must disagree with him because in his curiosity his head leans too far forward and suddenly rolls right off Jungwoos lap, and he faceplants straight into the floor. 

Needless to say, the previous conversation came to a shuddering halt. He could feel the tension in the air without even opening his eyes. … oops.

Hyuck’s acting abilities are put to the test when he has to go through the whole groaning and moaning of falling on the hard wooden floor. Complete with him sleepily rubbing his eyes and a disarming pout. Not to brag but … he had them fooled judging by the matching expressions of shock which then melt into relief when he innocently exclaims “ when did Johnny hyung and Mark hyung get here?”   
Someone throws a joke about Haechan’s ability to fall asleep anywhere and he just giggles sheepishly. He looks up to catch Mark’s eye yet again before he’s turning away as if Haechan’s gaze burns him. 

One word digs itself into Hyuck’s heart and lingers there…. 

**Uncomfortable.**

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He doesn’t sleep that night. Too busy trying to make sense of the disjointed conversation he’s overheard. His head is filled with thoughts of Mark… and not the usual pleasant thoughts. There is a niggling feeling that he’s missing something. The Hyung’s seem to know more of what’s going on then he does. Maybe he should go to Johnny about it. But… no Johnny would never betray Marks trust that way. 

Why does it seem that Hyuck is the bane of Mark’s existence at the moment … yet he can’t seem to take his eyes off of Haechan for more than five minutes. A true juxtaposition. One that leaves Haechan tossing and turning in his bed, barely dozing off for what feels like five minutes before Taeyong is shaking his shoulder to wake him for group dance practice. 

He throws on a random shirt he’d picked up off the floor. It must be Johnny’s by the way it hangs down to mid-thigh and slips off one shoulder. The floor is cold on his bare feet as he tippy-toed to the nearest bathroom to start getting ready. 

He can already tell that his lack of sleep was going to make today rough for him… _fucking Mark._.. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and reaches for the bathroom door handle before it’s opening by itself and Hyuck is falling forward straight into someone’s chest. Steady hands grab him and hold him gently get firmly away from ….. Mark. 

Of course, Mark is the first person he runs into the moment he gets out of bed. Well, this is a small dorm, he surmises, it would be difficult to avoid someone in such close quarters. Not that that has stopped Mark from trying. 

He pulls himself from Mark’s grip and looks up to see Mark unexpectedly scanning his face in a serious manner. He seems disappointed with what he finds. 

“ Hyuck… you didn’t sleep well last night” It’s not a question and he hates how accurately Mark can read him. Hyuck can’t help but scoff.  
.. _and whose fault is that?_

Still, he forces out a simple “I’m fine Hyung” hoping that he’ll drop it. Which Mark does, but not before giving Hyuck one last searching look. 

“ that’s good then, we have a difficult practice ahead of us today so take it easy yeah ?”   
_Oh, so now you get to play the concerned friend? After one whole week of this hot and cold bullshit?_ Hyuck is about give his hyung a few choice words about where he can shove his concern when he actually lets himself look into Mark’s eyes. The words instantly die in his throat when he sees a familiar fondness simmering in his gaze. And …. God how he’s missed that look. He can’t bring himself to look away from those eyes which read him like an open book. Just like that his anger fizzles out.

“ … yeah “ he manages to choke out. At his reaction, the fondness is replaced by amusement and the cheeky expression which Mark is looking at him with it almost too much for him to handle. It’s like the past week was just some weird fever dream and Hyuck has woken up to find Mark back to the concerned, playful hyung he knows ( and loves). 

Haechan notices an unseen spot of shaving cream just above Mark’s upper lip. Instinctively he reaches out to wipe it off, an action he’d done one thousand times before. However, before his finger could make contact with Mark’s cheek his wrist is being caught in a death grip and Mark physically flinches away from him. 

Neither of them move. Both just processing what had just occurred. 

Mark having such a violent reaction at just the thought of Hyuck touching him. Shame burn’s deep in his stomach and starts rising up his throat. He tastes bile as one thought roots itself in his mind… but no it can’t be. 

This time its Haechan who yanks his wrist out of Mark’s hold before shoving him to the side. Ignoring Mark’s plea of “ Hyuck wait” he locks himself in the bathroom just as his legs give out and he sinks to the floor. 

There is only one reason that Hyuck can think of which would cause Mark to react that way. 

Does … Does Mark know about his feelings for him?


	3. Chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! im one day late but I come bearing sun and moon content. Please enjoy also kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. How do you think mark is going to react to Haechan ? will they finally sit down and talk or will he find another way to blow Donghyuck off?

3\. 

The next week is rough, to say the least. After two week’s of Mark giving Hyuck a very wide berth, the tables have turned and now it seems to be Haechan’s turn to avoid Mark like an ex-boyfriend at a mutual friend's gathering. ( If that metaphor seems specific … it’s because it is and he doesn’t want to talk about it). After the “ bathroom incident” - as Haechan has taken to calling it in his head- he’s spent a lot of time self-reflecting on his hypothesis. 

He calls it “ theory Mark Lee is Haechanphobic”.

He knows that it sounds ridiculous and dramatic and he doesn’ have any evidence of Mark ever being outright Homophobic. He’s never shown any discomfort towards the other outwardly queer members. But after lying awake all night trying to think of anything he’s done or changed recently which could have shocked Mark enough to have this much of a severe reaction. 

Mark’s face, when he flinched away from Huck’s touch, plays in a constant loop in his head. His sexuality is probably the one thing which Haechan hasn’t shared with his hyungs. Not that he goes out of his way to deny it or keep it a secret, just that he’d never felt the need to come out to them as it was just part of who he was. So did Mark somehow find out, or guess? Is that the cause of all this. 

Eventually, he settles on mark either is homophobic ( not likely) or he’s just disgusted with the thought of Haechan being in love with HIM in particular. 

He churns these thoughts over in his head all week and it seems neither he nor Mark have been very discreet about it. Throughout the week his hyungs seem to dote on him even more than usual. 

Taeyoung bringing his dinner to his room when he can’t face Mark at the dinner table. Jaehyun letting him stew by himself in their bedroom and giving him silent support instead of pushing him for answers. Doyoung and Yuta giving him first pick of the movie they watch at night. It seems that the hyungs have noticed his inner turmoil and are reassuring him that they are there for whenever he’s ready to talk. Even though this week has been hard, the way his hyungs have been showing their support warms his heart. They really are a family. 

He end’s up going to Taeil when he can feel the pot start to boil over. 

They had always shared a close bond ever since trainee days. Their natural chemistry making their easy banter and casual skinship resemble that of real siblings. So by the end of his week from hell, he finds himself knocking and barging into Taeil’s room. His Hyung is hibernating under the covers with his headphones on and Haechan almost feels bad for disrupting his precious rest time but Taeil sticks his fluffy head out of his cocoon, takes one look at Hyuck and opens his arms wide. 

He collapses into his hyung, burying his face into the elder’s neck. Feeling Taeil soothingly rub his back and tangle their legs together. After such a stressful time, Hyuck can finally feel himself letting go. Tears start falling from his eyes and his body shakes. Taeil only holds him tighter, murmuring sweet reassurances into his ear and rocking him like a baby. He only sobs harder.

He’s been so pent up struggling all alone, that now he’s finally let himself go he can’t seem to stop the waterfall of emotion pouring out of him. Taeil says nothing but lets him hold onto him for dear life as he finally releases all his pent up worries and shame. 

He hears the door open behind him but doesn’t have the energy to face the intruder. After a few awkward seconds where he can sense Taeil and the person having a silent conversation, he hears an apologetic Jungwoo grab something and then say goodbye. He feels a little bad for kicking Jungwoo out of his room and is grateful that he didn’t say anything and is giving him some space. 

At this he sniffles and finally stems the flow of tears, untangling his death-grip on his poor hyung and letting out the occasional hiccup. He sits up and tries to rearrange them on the small bed to give Taeil some more space. Worrying that he has crushed his hyung beneath him as well as getting snot on Taeils favourite hoodie. He says as much. 

Taeil just laughs and pulls him back into his side, waiting for him to snuggle in before saying  
“ hyuckie a little snot isn’t going to stop me from cuddling you” Hyuck watches his fond smile slip into a slightly more serious face “do you think you are up to talking about what’s going on?”  
“It’s Mark Hyung,” He whispers hesitantly.  
“ oh I would never have guessed it’s not like you both are acting like fighting newly-weds”  
“ Hyuuuuung, stop with the sarcasm” Hyuck whines and swats gently at the elder’s shoulder.  
“ Seriously though, what has that emotionally constipated idiot done to upset you now? Does Hyung need to give him a beating ?” Taeil says and flexes his skinny arms in the most non-threatening pose ever. It gets Hyuck to giggle and shake his head at his hyung’s antics. He loves how easily his hyung can tilt his mood. _Taeil really is the best._

“ you’re too scrawny to beat anyone hyung… even Mark !”   
“Doesn’t mean I can’t get Jaehyun or Johnny to beat him for me …. And that’s Mark HYUNG you brat”  
The banter’s nice he thinks … but he’s not just here for cuddles, he also wants some advice, something which Taeil is really good at. 

“Hyung….. Do you think Mark Hyung hates me ?”   
He quickly keeps talking before Taeil can interrupt him “ I mean I know he doesn't... But how else do you explain his behaviour? He’s been walking on eggshells around me, he can’t stand to be more then two meters of me before he’s making some excuse and running away again, and yesterday I went to touch him and he physically flinched …. as if my touch was dirty”   
His eyes well up again and he chokes on his next words.   
“ Have I done something wrong?” The way hyuck’s voice breaks at the end of the sentence pierces straight through Taeil’s heart. Anger boils in his gut at the thought of his hyuckie ever thinking that he’s done anything to deserve the way that Mark is treating him. _God, he could strangle that boy!_ It seems obvious to everyone but Haechan why Mark is suddenly so fidgety and awkward around him. But it’s not something which he feels he has the right to talk to the maknae about. 

“ Baby, hyuckie listen to me, you haven’t done anything wrong. Mark is an idiot who seems to be going through something right now yeah?”  
He sits up pulling Haechan with him and looks him in the eyes.   
“ whatever shit Mark is in right now, you can’t blame yourself. You are our most precious, mood maker, witty, handsome sunshine dongsaeng…. It hurts me that you’ve been struggling recently. You remember that you can lean on your hyung’s every once in a while. Ok? We may be dumb but will still try our best to help you.”   
He’s right … he thinks. _I can’t blame myself if I don’t even know what I’ve done wrong.  
_ “ ok… thanks Taeil hyung”. 

He feels better. HIs hyung always know’s the right thing to say and advice to give when he needs it. _He’s so lucky to have such an understanding hyung._

“ Hyuckie.. Don’t you think maybe you should be talking to Mark about this ?” 

“ It’s not that easy Hyung. Don’t you think I’ve tried ?” 

“ I think it’s time you trap him somewhere and confront him… you deserve some answers.” 

And … yeah, Hyuck thinks he really does. This game of emotional hide and go seek is exhausting him and he ‘s officially done. He doesn’t want to do it any longer. If his hyung is upset because of something he did then can’t they be adults and sit down and talk about their problems? It’s starting to affect the group as a whole, something which Hyuck swore he would never allow to happen. He set’s his jaw, determined, and untangles himself from his hyung before springing out of bed and rubbing any evidence he’d just had a breakdown from his face- unsuccessfully, but oh well. 

“ what Hyuck where are you going ?!” 

“ There’s no time like the present, you’re absolutely right Hyung I deserve answers. Thank you Taeil Hyung love you !” 

He blows his bewildered hyung a cheeky kiss and quickly before -he can change his mind - he bounds down the hallway, rip’s open the door without knocking, checks it’s just Mark in the room before turning around and pressing the lock into place. 

Planting his feet he turns around and squares his shoulders. Eyeing mark defiantly as if saying _I dare you to kick me out._

Mark looks shocked, understandably he reasons so would he if the guy who wants nothing to do with you suddenly stormed into your room and glared at you with the power of one thousand suns, he’s be confused too. He won’t back down though. 

Ignoring Marks flustered stuttering asking what the hell he was doing he calmly walks over and plonks himself beside Mark on the bed. For the first time all week he holds eye contact for more than ten seconds before steeling himself and saying 

“ We need to talk.”


	4. Chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, things start to get resolved! I bring you some Markhyuck difficult talk and then snuggles because I'm weak. enjoy some fluff mixed in with the angst for once haha. 
> 
> Also thank you so much to everyone who has been leaving comments and kudo's on this fix. Really makes my little heart happy!

The pure look of undiluted panic in Mark’s eyes makes Haechan want to laugh out loud. But this is a serious conversation that they are about to have and he doesn't want to disturb the atmosphere. 

Mark looks tired, the bags under his eyes are so dark they look like bruises and his pale skin is wan and dehydrated. It makes his heart ache. He’s suddenly struck with the realization that whatever is happening between them is affecting Mark just as much as it is him …. maybe even more so. 

Even so when he stares into those deep brown eyes … Mark glows. His hair is sticking up all over the place and Haechan has to resist the urge to reach over and run his fingers through the tangled strands. Physically locking his fingers together in order to restrain himself. He moves further down, eyes snagging on the old muscle tee which he’s pretty sure Mark stole from johnny, lingering on how the shirt exposes more of Mark’s lean yet strong figure which he watches shift and flex as he turns so they sit facing each other. Swallowing he moves on quickly before he loses focus and gets pulled into the swirling mess of hormones and desire which Mark seems to activate whenever they are alone together. 

He breathes in the familiar scent of Mark’s fabric softener and axe body spray which he’s been using since trainee days. The fact that Mark never changes makes him mentally smile. Lingering underneath it all is something deep and musky that is undeniably Mark which he just can’t get enough of and _Oh god stay focused, please… pull yourself together!_

Ever since Haechan’s sudden outburst and appearance in Mark’s room neither of them have said anything. They sit facing each other, drinking each other in fully for the first time in a while. And even though he knows that a difficult conversation lays ahead for them, sitting together in silence he finds is comforting. No matter the outcome of this conversation Hyuck trusts the relationship which they have will come out of it stronger. 

_Well here goes nothing_

“ Hyung don’t you think we need to talk? “ he starts. 

Mark avoids eye contact and looks down bashfully at his words. Hyuck watches as he seems to steel himself and when he looks back at hyuck he can see a range of emotions on his Hyungs face. Determination, mixed with guilt and the underlying fondness which is present whenever he looks at Donghyuck.

“ yeah hyuckie we do …. I think I owe you an explanation but before that, I want to apologize. I haven’t been a good hyung to you recently, let alone a good friend. I’ve been dealing with something pretty big and before we get into this I want you to know that none of this is your fault”  
He feels the sincerity behind Mark’s words and relief washes over him in a wave. _Mark wasn’t angry with him, he hasn’t done anything which has hurt mark, they were going to talk it out._  
Still, he can’t bring himself to forgive Mark that easily.   
“Thank you for apologising but I’m not going to say it’s ok Hyung. You treated me really badly and I’ve been so confused as to why you were suddenly being like this. ….. It **hurt** me “

Mark looks heartbroken listening to his words but he must have been expecting them. He slowly reaches out to take Huyck's hand, as if scared that he might flinch away from his touch. When he sees no resistance, Mark intertwines their fingers and soothingly runs his thumb over the back of Haechan’s tingling hand.   
“I know baby” - Haechan tries not to shiver at the new pet name - “and you really do deserve an explanation” Mark continues earnestly.  
“ I've only recently realised something really personal about myself and I took it out unfairly on you. I’m sorry but I can’t tell you anything else right now an- don’t look at me like that duckie “ 

Hyuck pouts when Mark tells him he isn’t going to elaborate on whatever big revelation he’s been going through. _It obviously involves me in some way so don’t I have a right to know what it is?_

“ Hyung that’s not fair… I'm a part of whatever you’ve been going through right? So why can’t you just tell me?”   
“ I’m not ready yet “ Mark sighs and runs a hand exasperatedly through his hair.

Haechan hesitates … thinking if he should start sulking or leave it be. He decides to say fuck it and ask the question which has been burning a hole in his mind. 

“ is it because I’m gay?” 

Mark reacts violently to the sudden question. “ w what ? how ..did you even ..what?” he splutters incredulously. Staring at the younger in shock and confusion.   
“ Hyuckie how could you ever think that? Why on earth would I have a problem with you liking boys?!” 

Now it’s Haechans turn to duck his head to hide the flush in his cheeks and bashfully shrug his shoulders.   
“ I don’t know… it was the only thing I could think of which might have been the reason for all of this”   
“ duckie I can assure you that it has nothing to do with anything like that. Ok?”   
He nods his head and looks back up. Instantly becoming trapped by the elders warm, deep gaze. Mark is smiling at him like he’s something precious and it’s doing nothing to cool the red flush which is staining his face. 

When Mark opens his arms he doesn’t hesitate to fling himself into his embrace. He knocks them backwards onto the bed and giggles when Mark groans out underneath him. Falling into Mark’s arms feels like coming home. He can’t even begin to describe how happy he is.

They get comfortable, Haechan rolling on his side and throwing his leg over Mark’s hip, his arm reaching up to clutch at the elder’s shirt and snuggling his face into his chest. He feels Mark’s arm snake around his body and grab his waist, pulling him in closer for the first time. 

They fit together like two puzzle pieces. 

Feeling Mark reach down and run his fingers through his fringe Haechan lets any leftover tension melt from his body, pushing himself as close into Mark’s heat as he can get. The conversation didn’t go how he thought it would but he’s not upset about it. He’s left with some answers and one million more questions, but secure in the knowledge that they were going to be ok.


	5. Chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely people ! sorry for the wait, I've lost some motivation and really struggled with this update. This ended up being a short filler chapter but hopefully, I'm back on track from now on hehe. Anyway, let the flirting begin!

Sweat rolls down the column of his neck and drips uncomfortably onto his clavicle. He feels his muscles tremble as he holds his ending position, fighting the urge to reach up and wipe it away. Those few seconds where all he can hear is the thud of his own heartbeat in his ears and the gasping breaths of others surrounding him stretch out for what feels like forever. He lifts his gaze to the mirror and runs his eyes over the picture the members have created with their bodies, trying to find a single limb out of place. Relief washes through him …. They’ve perfected it. 

Without anyone saying a single word they all collectively release the tension in their bodies. Some members sliding straight to the floor, the pull of gravity too strong on their exhausted bodies. Others amble to their bags on the other side of the room to retrieve water bottles and phones. Haechan starfishes in the middle of the room, not caring if someone ( cough cough Doyoung) accidentally trips over his sprawled legs. 

His eyes are closed and he can feel himself spiralling down into the bone tiredness that comes from overworking himself. His entire body shakes like a leaf and he knows that his right leg is close to cramping. Haechan loves being an idol, he really does. But on days like this where he knows he's pushed himself past his limit, and then some. He starts questioning the pros and cons. Suddenly, he’s broken from the slippery slope of exhaustion by cool water being dripped on his forehead. 

Opening his eyes he finds a very sweaty yet still absolutely gorgeous Mark Lee leaning over him and holding a cool water bottle to his burning face. He doesn’t say anything but the relief must be evident in his expression because Mark merely smiles and grabs his hand to haul him up into a sitting position. Mark slips down to rest on his knees in front of him, gesturing for the younger to grab the bottle. Returning his hyungs smile, he gratefully accepts the bottle and quickly unscrews it before downing half of it. The cool water running down his throat successfully shocking his body back into reality before he succumbed to the abyss of exhaustion lingering in his bones.

Movement in his peripheral vision draws his notice back to Mark. After scanning his Hyungs' deliberately blank face he follows Mark's piercing gaze to where he's fixated on the bob of Hyucks throat as he swallows. Haechan watches him subconsciously lick his cracked lips following the movement out of the corner of his own eyes. He gets caught up in the movement. Realizing where he’s currently staring he quickly flicks his eyes back up to Mark’s - only to find the deep brown orbs already pinning him to the floor. Mark gaze seems to look straight through him, into the place inside him where his hidden feelings lie. Haechan feels like he’s been stripped naked and all his secrets have been laid bare in front of Mark.

As if in a trance Mark’s palm comes to rest on Haechans bare knee and he leans further into the other boy's personal space. Caught off guard by the sudden physical contact, Haechan sucks in a surprised breath and promptly inhales a gulp of water. Spluttering he efficiently breaks whatever tension had been created between the two as Mark starts fussing and panicking. Patting Hyuck on the back and slipping into concerned friend mode. 

He’s gathered the attention of the other members in the room who come rushing over to dramatically pat him on the back and coo. Mark backs off, standing a few feet away from where he’s now being swarmed by his supportive hyungs. 

“ Please guys, I'm ok! Just choked a bit there haha” he tries to placate them but his voice sounds hoarse to his own ears. Taeil who is on his left rubbing his back coos at him like he’s a fussy toddler and Taeyong reaches out to stroke his hair. Any other day he would preen and gloat at having his hyungs undivided attention. But today his cheeks flush red as he makes eye contact with an equally red mark over Johnny's head. 

They hold tense eye contact for a few seconds, both trying to absorb what had just happened. Before, Mark is turning away and raising a hand to sheepishly rub the back of his neck. Hyuck watches the tips of the elders ears burn bright red and admonishes to himself that _... no that was not in his head. He actually DOES seem to have some sort of effect on his Hyung, though Mark seems intent to show otherwise._

Somewhere in the background, Haechan registers the choreographer calling out for the last run-through of the day and he feels himself standing and heading into position on autopilot. He raises his head and finds his reflection grinning ear to ear back in the mirror. 

Hmm… that's definitely something he will have to explore as soon as he gets the chance, after all, when has he ever given up a chance to tease Mark?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I am @lime58417247 on twitter here is a link https://twitter.com/lime58417247 if you wanna chat? Leave a comment or kudos to tell me what you think!


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